Security Confidential S2 E6 Ethan Nicholas

Manoj Tandon: Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of Security Confidential. Today, we are really honored to have Ethan Nicholas join us. Ethan, in addition to being a friend, is the Executive Director of Business and Economic Development at Slippery Rock University and the founder of the Pittsburgh Business Exchange, which is how I met him. The Pittsburgh Business Exchange is the largest and fastest-growing professional business networking group in the Northeastern US. The organization has grown to over 35,000 members and subscribers, and Ethan has cracked the code when it comes to bringing business owners of all sizes together for the purpose of professional development and viable community outreach. Thank you for joining us, Ethan.

Ethan Nicholas: Thanks for having me, Manoj. It’s a pleasure to be on your podcast and videocast here today. There is a lot to business networking. It is more of an art than a science, and I’ll start off with a little story. I was asked to speak as the keynote for the Slippery Rock University senior class as they were departing for graduation for their senior transition conference. As the keynote, I told everybody in the audience that if everybody paid attention to the talk and did everything I told them, which were simple nuances with networking, everybody in there would have a job within 30 days if they didn’t already have one. If they already had a job, they would have an opportunity to have a better one. The entire audience immediately started paying attention. At the end of the event, I gave every person a postmarked postcard with my address on it. All they had to do was write me a note telling me about their goals, who they were, and how to get in touch with them. Out of around 150 students, I only got about 17 notes back. That was shocking to me. That’s why today there are three parts of my talk on networking: the Pre and Prep, the actual networking process, and the Follow-Up. Most people think networking is just showing up, talking to people, collecting business cards, and hoping somebody calls them later. Then those cards sit on your desk with a rubber band around them until eventually they get thrown away. Networking should be much more intentional than that.

Ethan Nicholas: The first part is the Pre and Prep. Before going to any event, you should identify who you want to meet. If you’re selling a very specific service or product, you need to know who your target audience is before walking into the room. The first thing anyone should do before attending an event is request a guest list. Most organizations won’t provide direct contact information, but many will give you the names, companies, and titles of attendees. At Pittsburgh Business Exchange, we provide every attendee list to registrants before each event. Surprisingly, only around 60% of people even open it. Everybody has LinkedIn. Most professionals have profiles there, so if you know who you want to meet, you can send them a simple message before the event. You can say, “Hi, my name is Ethan. I noticed you’ll be attending the same event tomorrow night, and I’d love to meet you and buy you a cocktail.” It’s that simple. Even if they don’t show up, you’ve opened a line of communication and built a relationship before ever arriving.

Manoj Tandon: At some of the events we attend, there are mega corporations represented. If I want to meet the CIO of a huge company, there are probably thousands of people trying to reach that same person. Chances are their LinkedIn is closed off and their email is filtered by assistants. What do you do then?

Ethan Nicholas: Handwritten notes. Absolutely. If you really want to stand out, send a handwritten card. Get stationery with your logo or name on it, put it in an envelope, and mail it. Handwritten mail gets opened because it looks personal. Even if an assistant opens it first, it usually ends up on the executive’s desk. If you combine that with a LinkedIn request, now you’ve hit them twice. They’re already expecting to see you at the event. Nobody does this anymore, and that’s why it works so well. It separates you from everyone else. The Pre and Prep phase is the most forgotten part of networking, but it lays the foundation for everything else.

Manoj Tandon: I completely agree. Most people just walk into events without preparation.

Ethan Nicholas: Exactly. A lot of people don’t network at all, which blows my mind. People do business with people, not technology. In-person meetings are powerful because you can shake hands, smile, and communicate sincerity. During networking, presentation matters. When you enter a room, pause at the doorway, look around confidently, smile, and then enter. Human nature causes people to notice movement and posture. If you rush in looking stressed, people ignore you. Dress professionally. Whether it’s a suit and tie or something appropriate to your industry, dress better than most people around you. You want to look intentional and prepared.

Manoj Tandon: In tech, though, people sometimes get uncomfortable around overly formal dress. A polo and blazer might work better than a full suit.

Ethan Nicholas: That’s fair. You have to match the industry. I met Joe Sheetz once, and he showed up casually dressed, but he still looked polished and comfortable. The key is to look sharp and intentional. Once you’re inside the room, use the FORM technique: Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Message. Ask about family first because people naturally enjoy talking about what matters most to them. Then move into occupation and recreation. Once they feel comfortable, you transition into your message and explain clearly what you’re trying to accomplish. Most salespeople make the mistake of hiding their intentions instead of being straightforward. If you’re honest about what you do and why you’re there, people are more likely to help you.

Ethan Nicholas: There are also different types of people at networking events. Some people are “hostage takers” who monopolize your time. You need graceful exit strategies. You can excuse yourself for food, the restroom, or simply say you need to speak with someone else before the event ends. Human behavior matters too. You can often tell if someone wants to leave a conversation by the direction their feet are pointing. If their feet point away from you, they’re mentally preparing to exit. Another powerful strategy is introducing people to one another using edification. If you’ve already learned about someone using FORM, you can introduce them to someone else by highlighting interesting things about them. This makes both parties feel valued and appreciated, and it reflects positively on you because people feel heard and remembered.

Manoj Tandon: What advice do you have for people manning booths at trade shows? Most attendees don’t really want to stop and talk to vendors.

Ethan Nicholas: Stand in front of the booth, not behind it. Sitting behind a table makes you passive. Be active, greet everyone, hand people something tangible, ask them questions, and help connect them with others at the event. If someone is looking for a service you don’t provide, walk them over to another vendor who does. The other vendors will remember that and send people back your way. Networking at trade shows is about being a facilitator and building goodwill.

Ethan Nicholas: Follow-Up is where the money is made. I keep note cards on my desk with details about relationships, opportunities, and goals. Those cards don’t leave my desk until I’ve completed the follow-up. I write down details about people’s lives, interests, favorite drinks, and family so I can remember meaningful things later. Small gestures create long-term relationships. I once sent a note to a customer service representative because she provided incredible service. Years later, she remembered that note and emailed me when she changed careers. Another time, a woman approached me at an event and thanked me because I had written a note to her boss praising her customer service after renting a tuxedo. That note helped her receive a promotion and raise. Handwritten notes create lasting impressions.

Ethan Nicholas: When I started the Pittsburgh Business Exchange, we grew by writing thousands of handwritten notes. We congratulated people on promotions listed in the Pittsburgh Business Times and invited them to our events. We built relationships with leadership across Pittsburgh one note at a time. Those notes bypassed gatekeepers and landed directly on desks. Over time, that built a powerful community and brand presence.

Manoj Tandon: What adjustments should people make in today’s virtual environment? Networking events are now online, and people aren’t always in their offices.

Ethan Nicholas: In the virtual world, I still send handwritten notes, but I also scan copies of them using an app like Genius Scan. If the recipient says they never received it, I can email them the scanned copy. Also, people need to remember that they’re still being watched during virtual meetings. Too many people show up on Zoom calls looking unprepared, distracted, or disengaged. You need to appear professional, maintain posture, and stay focused. Even in a virtual environment, people judge professionalism and attentiveness.

Ethan Nicholas: Another networking strategy is asking for selfies with people at events. It makes them feel important and appreciated. Once you take the selfie, you can ask for their cell phone number to send it to them. That opens direct communication through texting, which is one of the most personal forms of communication. You can then send them useful information later, building an authentic relationship over time.

Ethan Nicholas: One final advanced networking strategy is invitations. If there’s someone important you want to meet, invite them to speak at a Rotary Club, networking organization, or event you’re involved with. That invitation immediately creates a relationship because now you’re hosting them. You introduce them, make them feel welcome, and follow up afterward with thoughtful gifts or notes. Some of my strongest professional relationships began with simple invitations like that.

Manoj Tandon: Ethan, we’re at the hour, but this has been incredibly valuable. What you’re talking about applies to anyone looking to grow a business, improve sales, find a job, or strengthen professional relationships. Human connection is at the center of all of it. Is there anything you’d like to plug before we wrap up?

Ethan Nicholas: I’d love to give a plug to Slippery Rock University. It’s a wonderful institution. If there are any students out there looking to continue their education or explore programs like engineering or physician assistant studies, visit www.sru.edu and have a look. I couldn’t flourish and have these conversations without the support of Slippery Rock University, which sponsored this call today.

Manoj Tandon: Fantastic. Thank you everyone for joining the show, and we hope to catch you next week on another episode. Ethan, thank you so much for being here.